It is your own choice. . .

 “There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.” 
― J.K. Rowling

There are few things that can infuriate me like when friends or family use their upbringing or the

circumstances they grew up in as an excuse either for their own behavior or someone else's. 

So you grew up in a house where either one of your parents were abusive, or had an addiction, or both. You might have been beaten, yelled at, slapped through the face with various objects, are broken down at each chance they got. It might have been a grandparent causing havoc and forcing you to grow up way before you should have.

Yes, these are just some of the things that happen to so many of us, or to people we know.  Things like that stick with you forever, you will never forget those things, and you can't go back and change them, but you can make choices to ensure you are nothing like those people, and that what they did will not keep you from the life you deserve to have.

We all get to an age where we know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.  Some of us will take this very seriously and some of us will live in the gray area, where you allow certain things you know is not right, but you just pretend like it's not happening, and that makes it OK.  Even if you do not give your opinion or react to something, it is still a choice you make, and a poor one at that.

Take responsibility for your actions, and stop thinking your the only one who had a traumatic start to life. Sure, I am not saying you might not have a few psychological issues, which you need help for, but make the choice to get that help.

Take some time, think about your beliefs and morals, is that the kind of person you want to be remembered as?  If it is, well then good for you! But try and be hash in criticizing yourself, think to yourself, if I had a friend with my personality - and YES think about the bad things you KNOW you do as well - would I like that friend? Would that friend have offended me or ticked me off when they did what I am doing to my friends and family? I know it's easy to miss your flaws, because you live with yourself 24 hours a day, but really try and see.  

You might find that you try to push people too much, whether it is to do things you want to do, or agree with you, even when they clearly have their own thoughts on the subject, or maybe you are a bit mean, or too honest, or careless. . .

Remember one thing...The world doesn't owe you anything, you have to work for what you want, relationships don't just happen, promotions, happiness...you have to work for it!

Maybe make a list of things from the past that bother you, and then next to each one write something good to balance it out, and focus on doing the positive things. It takes a week or two for something to become a habit. GO FOR IT!

To tie this up... Stop blaming the past and start fixing the future! In the words of Covey "Don't try to get a quick fix out of a situation you behaved yourself into." If you have done terrible things, take time and make amends, and start making your own choices, and stop letting your past and even present circumstances make them for you.

I should have studied Theology  :) I preach so well! 

Good luck for those of you who are going to try and make the "right" choices!

HABIT 5

"Seek first to Understand, Then to be Understood"
Author Stephen R. Covey

It's so simple, but used correctly, what author Stephen R. Covey says in his book The 7 habits of highly effective people, Habit 5 "Seek first to Understand, Then to be Understood" can make a lot of the drama and fighting in your life so much less.

You need to listen to understand and not only to reply. For those of you with small kids, here is something you can use in future. It is so easy to go off on your kids for doing something "wrong", but have you ever stopped and asked them WHY they did it, to really explain what they were thinking, feeling when they decided to do what they did, or react they way they did?  Listen empathetically, don't form your own picture, or think about how YOU feel, how do THEY feel?

Covey gives an egsample in his book about a dad and his son having a conversation about school.
The boy says to his dad that he thinks school is for the birds. The dad reply's and asks why, whereto, his son replies that school isn't doing anything for him, and he doesn't need school to become a mechanic. The dad then says to him that how can he say something like that, and asks him if he is serious. We all know where that conversation is heading- FIGHT!

Here is a different way it could have been handled. The boy says to his dad that school is for the birds. The dad answers him by saying is school getting you down or are you frustrated with school. The boy then says, who needs school, I don't need school to be a mechanic, and the dad says if you are sure that is the right choice for you. The boy is expecting the first scenario, and then is thrown off, and maybe will speak why he feels the way he does, or what the real problem is.

It is not just with your children, but with friends, your husband and in the work place.

Thy to understand how the other person is feeling, why they are feeling that way, and forget about thinking that you wouldn't have felt the way they do in the same situation...

Give it a try, you'll be surprised at how much easier you can make your life, just by truly understanding, in stead of arguing.

It's been a while, but I'm here now....

Have you ever felt that you have lost yourself? Lost who you are, what you like, how you react, what you do?.... It's not an easy thing, being lost... It's not always easy to put on a smile and go on as if nothing has ever changed.

I find myself in a bit of a predicament... It seems I have gotten off at the wrong station, or maybe this was a detour I am supposed to be taking.  I have been acting strange and doing unusual things in the last month and a half... WHY? I keep asking. Well hell, I don't know...

At the beginning of the year I made a vision chart, of all the things I wish to accomplish this year, some of the things I could tick off already, some I don't know if I'll ever be able to.
Eat, Pray , Love.... So simply said, so difficult to achieve. For those who are familiar with the movie, I relate to her struggle.... how about you?

I have decided to go with the expression- Let the chips fall where they may... And regretted it dearly... So with a bit of control added, I hope to ride out this wave.

If you find yourself in this type of predicament...well here is a list of suggestions:

1. Stay away from people you don't like and usually tolerate- It doesn't end well.
2. Try and do something fun, even if you find this specific thing highly unusual
3.  Laugh when you have NO idea why in the world you feel like doing so.
4. STAY  AWAY from the booze- REALLY REALLY NOT PRETTY!
5. Eat less, but food you actually like:)
6. Love the way you fell like
7.  Do what makes you happy, even if other's don't necessarily approve...
8. Cry when the need overtakes you

Waiting for the train to come back around, but while I wait supposed will have to follow my own advise :)

Thank you maikies

Friends, you have gotta love them- most of the time. I know sometimes you would love to strangle some of them, but at the end of the day they are still your friends. The family you can choose, who needs to be related by blood?

This blog is to appreciate each and every one of my friends. The youngsters, the mommies, and everyone in between:) I'd like to start off by saying, I promise to try my best to be a good friend. I don't like to be hurt by my friends, so I will try not to hurt you.

To the Mommies- I adore your children, even when they give me pulptations sometimes and make me want to tear my hair out. I love them as I love you, because they are you. I cherish the nights spent drinking wine and complaining, and the nights spent dancing..even if it's just me trying to cheer you up:)

To the youngsters- thank you for keeping me young:) Always up for a jol, or a dare. Pushing me to my limits, then laughing very hard when we make fools of ourselves. Dancing our bum off, then eating McDonalds. Talking about stupid and serious things.

To the guys, thank you for the bear hugs! The lectures when it comes to my choice of music. Thank you for dancing with me, and for the strange looks when I sing Justin Bieber songs. Thanks for sticking up for me, and blocking the moshpit from pulling me in!

Thanks maikies, for loving me! What would life be like without you?. . . .EXTREMELY BORING!

Know that even though we fight, or disagree, I will forgive you, almost instantly- after swearing a bit and hitting something-hehe.

Hope all the maikies have a fabulous day, and take some time to cherish the maikies is your life! Think...what do each and everyone of them mean to you, and do for you, without even trying. 

 BUT most of all REMEMBER to have fun!

Why do we sell ourselves short so willingly?

Why do we sell ourselves short so willingly?  It so easy to believe it when someone criticizes you, or say something bad about you. It’s so easy to tell yourself that it doesn’t just go like that in your home, life, relationship… WHY are we comparing our life’s to other peoples?   AND when we compare, WHY ON EARTH do we compare it to people who are in the same boat at rougher sea’s?

I’ll tell you why… because we’d all like to believe our lives are not so bad. There will always be someone who’s relationship is worse than yours, there will be someone fatter than you, someone with less, just because your husband or boyfriend doesn’t necessarily hit you, doesn’t mean what he is doing isn’t another form of abuse.

This blog may seem a bit feminist, but I’d like to get a couple of things off of my chest… We deserve to be loved, to be spoilt, to be given a chance to excel, and what do we do?  We stand back so the men in our lives can excel, can become a big shot at his work, can go out and do what they want, when they want. We go out of our way to be nice, arrange things, to make them feel better. . .

We DESERVE better, no matter who says what! We deseve to get flowers at least once a month! We deserve to be loved, and appreciated.  We deserve a chance to excel in our job’s or whatever we want to excel in. We deserve to be told that we are beautiful EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Why do we think we don’t deserve these things? OR why are we okay if we don’t get it? Think, take a minute and really think. . . . . . . . .

What did you do for your man today? Did he appreciate it, or expect it?

How was the good bye you got this morning?

It shouldn’t be like most of you answered!  Every morning you should say good bye like you are never going to see each other again, because you don’t know if you are going to make it home that night.

We are not always innocent, I know, we also do bad and wrong things sometimes, but making a list, we as women sell ourselves short so often…EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES!

Today do something for you!

Know your worth, because you are worth more than your weight in gold and diamonds!

Positivity

We often underestimate our own will power...  the power of being positive, the power of our minds...
I woke up yesterday feeling unusually positive, I woke up with a "can do" attitude, and I did everything I wanted to yesterday, I said no to alot of people offering me sweets and food I shouldn't be eating, I went to boot camp and kept up with all the excersises, I got home and ate my little meal, not even a bite more than I should.

It's amazing, that when you set your mind on something, fully set your mind on something how eager you get to accomplish it.  It's easy to say no to chocolate, or whatever other weakness you might have.  It was easy to go do excersises, rather than going home and watching TV because I have worked the entire day and I am tired. 

Why do we always take the easy roads? Why do we always complain, rather than look for solutions? Why is it so easy to just say, I'm tired, or I don't feel like it, or any other lame excuse you might use. I see alot of people and speak to alot of people every day. It amazes me how some people can do anything, and others choose to just say I can't. ALOT of people at this point will probably think.."It's easy for you to say."  Maybe it is, but I truly believe everyone should try their very best in everything they do, including me, and then if you fail try again, don't just say I can't or think you cannot without even trying!

There is alwways someone that has worse problems than yours, that would give up anything to have your problems instead of their own-NEVER forget that. Get a "CAN DO" attitude, because it makes your life so much more pleasant, and easy! If you want to do something REALLY mean it, set your mind to it, stick to it. If you go into something halfheartedly, you will not succeed, your wasting your time, get your mind in the game, and DO IT!

Start caring for others, see their problems, not just your own, no matter if you think their problems are insignificant, because where would we be, if we all thought about our own problems and never listened, we would also never know just how blessed we are, if we didn't listen to other people.

Start taking baby steps, get a goal, write it down, and when you want to reach it, be realistic, then commit to reaching it, and put your head in the game and pack your "can do" attitude!

I challenge you to do this!

See the beauty

As the hail is falling outside my window, I had to stop and take a minute to take it in. For some people rain and hail means, damage to your car, traffic lights that go out, people who start driving like idiots....

If you are one of those people, take a minute to forget about the bad things that come with the weather, and take in the beauty of it all. The little white pieces of ice, falling from Heaven to colour the ground white, and entertains the kids. 

Watch as the Heavens open up, and thousands and thousands of drops fall. . .every drop brings with it new life, and a message that spring is in the air.  The green will start to move in as the brown disappears.

Rain brings hope, hope that tomorrow will bring with it life, and happiness. Rain is God's way of showering us with blessings, in the form of flowers, green grass, and trees putting their leave jackets back on...

A memory so sweet, as getting caught in the rain, getting soaked, while kissing the one you love, laughing about it, and remembering it as a joyful, happy event.

We tend to see the ugly and the wrong so easily, we tend to forget that life and nature has to be balanced, for every negative there has to be a positive. Take some time to see what so many of us miss so easily.

Take some time to take a look outside late in the afternoon- YES our world is polluted- BUT the sunset is an amazing this to see- everyday it is as beautiful as the day before. Take time to notice the beautiful plants, the flowers!

Then take some time to appreciate the people, who like rain, can bring life to your life, who brings you sunshine on a cloudy day. People who help you transform from winter to spring. People who hail down on you when you need it!

See the beauty, when others struggle to see more than that what is presented.

Hope everyone has an amazing week!